Star Wars The Last Jedi Spoiler Review

When I got out of The Last Jedi last night I was confused as to if I was excited about what I had just watched or not. I have done nothing but think about this movie for the past 24 hours and have come to the conclusion that I was not entirely happy with this movie. I didnt hate it, I didnt love it, it was just eh. Out of all 9 Star Wars films (I include Rogue One because its basically 3.5), I woud have to rank this film 7th on my list, being just above Episode 1 and 2. Yes, thats right, Episode 3 was better than this movie, in my opinion. I dont know where to start so Im just going to ramble.

A friend of mine said it best with “I felt cheated,” and that basically sums up my feelings as well. Lets start with Emperor Snoke, who was hyped up in The Force Awakens and we finally get to see him in this film. We hoped to gain some knowledge on his past or anything about him, WE DID NOT. We were able to see his awesome ablities with the Force, and it was truly amazing, but we didnt get to learn a damn thing about his character. Why, oh becuase he dies. Thats right, he gets cut the fuck in half like Darth Maul; just boom and done. Which was awesome to see, but then your sitting there like, “Wait thats it, is he done now? Wait wait wait what the fuck just happened?” We, the fans, have been waiting two freaking years to learn more and we dont learn a damn thing. Now that made me think, well was he really that hyped in TFW or was it us who made him into a bigger thing, I blame the film. You cant introduce this, possible badass, Sith and not expect us to want more. Another thing about Snoke, I get that CGI has come along way with MOCAP suits and all and Andy Serkis is an amazing character actor, but good God figure out how to do lips or stop doing the CGI completely. Its just as bad as Superman in Justice League, they should just stick with make up and prostectics.

Continuing with Snoke, he states that is was becuase of him that Rey and Kylo where able to use the Force to communitcate with eachother from across the galaxy. If the most recent game, Battlefront II, has any link to the characters in the movies, then we know that Rey has a little thing called “Force Sight.” It only allows her to see the general area in which she is in, but the first time we see her use it in TLJ we assume it is the Force Sight ability. Then we find out its not. BULLLSHIT

While we are talking about Force abilities, lets move onto the new things that we see in this film. Apparently not only has Luke been secluded on an island for a long time, but he must have had been visited by Loki as well to have learned that shit we see at the end of the film. He is now able to project himself across the galaxy to fight a pissed off little baby Kylo. Not only that, he was able to make himself look about 15 years younger, which makes sense for that scene alone. The reason I have an issue with this is because Star Wars has been around for 45 years and we are just now learing that this is a thing that Force sensitve people can do.

Back to unanswered stories from TFW. Captain Phasma was done wrong in this film. She is treated just like Boba Fett, “all flash and no substance.” (Credit to Fanboys) She gets her ass handed to her by a janitor. Done and Done.

We then have the forced comedy. I get it, Disney owns both Marvel and Star Wars, but they have only been able to properly execute the humor in the Marvel films. There is a difference when humor makes sense, such as the relationship between the Porgs and Chewie. But when Poe is trolling Hux over the comm link it was over played and prolonged. I get that he was stalling to power up his booster engine, how about you power that thing up before you ever show up. Be ready, its essential in any type of military operation.

Lets move onto the main plot. The Resistance is slowly moving in space away from the First Order throughout the entire movie. They are moving slow due to being low on fuel, so they fly just enough out of range of the Star Destroyer as to not take damage. The Star Destroyer gives chase for two hours, um is it not plasuable for the Star Destroyer to just get closer and end it right then and there. I get it, if that were to happen we would have no main plot point. But come on. Continuing with what I call “mistakes;” in the first act we see rebel bombers hovering over a First Order Dreadnaught ship in space and we get to see a person manually open the bomb bay doors and arm all the bombs to drop. The first thing that comes to my mind is that that person better be wearing a breathing apparatus of some kind and they were. YAY.  But then we see the same scene in another bomber, but that person somehow ends up dead on the floor, so the pilot jumps down to press the drop button with no breathing apparatus at all. Not to mention that they would have been sucked out the opening anyway. Yes I get it, this is a sci-fi movie, but if you are going to take the time to show them wearing a mask of some kind, then stick with it.

Something very similar happens when the bridge on Leia’s ship is blown up and she gets sucked into space but doesnt die. She then uses the Force to pull herself back in the ship, reaches the inner door and Poe opens it to rescue her. As soon as he opened that door everyone and everything should have been sucked out as well.

Oh General Leia Organa, you will be missed and I am saddend that you didnt get a proper send off in this film. I feel one of two things shold have been done with her character. Either she should have died when she was sucked into space, as we know would happen to anyone, or she should have taken that rebel ship herself at the end of the film.

So then we have the Finn (Ryder) and Rose story line. The only two good things that came from that was a chance to see the great acting abilities of Benicio Del Toro and his new character DJ, along with the introduction of a group of little kids. We later find out that one of them is Force sensitive, which gives hope that there is a new generation of possible rebels and Jedi to come. We all know Rebellions are built on Hope. Now I do not want to see, read, or hear anything about this kids lineage. He is Force sensitive end of story, it doesnt matter who his parents are.

Finally everyone can shut the hell up and stop speculating as to who Rey’s parents are. In my opinion, it was answered in TFW that they are nobodys. I have been saying it from the start, she does not have to be realted to a Skywalker or any other Jedi from the previous films to have Force abilities. She is a stand alone badass and she will only continue to grow.

Back to Finn, he was cheated as well in this film. Here is this character that has done nothing but run from trouble and was almost given a heros send off. He made the decision to take one for the team, but its ruined by Rose when she crashes into his junker speeder and throws him off course. He jumps out, runs over to her and channels his inner Jack Dawson and yells something along the lines of  “Rose, why did you do that Rose?” That is follwed by the most akward kiss to be in any film I can recall. That includes the brother sister kisses in Episodes 4 and 5.

I have more that I didnt like about this movie and could keep going, but the rest would feel petty. There were things that I did like alot, for instance the Rey / Kylo team up was amazing . Getting to see Drunk puppet Yoda again was a great surpise. And Snokes guards where badass mother fuckers, even though they all died, they where still more baddass then Capt. Phasma. The Last Jedi all in all was enjoyable and I will own it when it comes out on Blu Ray and that is not only to keep my collection complete. I will actually want to watch it again. I dont spend money on films only to collect them, if I did I would have bought that piece of garbage Pirates 5, but fuck that film it was horrible.

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